McCain Adds Hilton, Spears at Trading Deadline

Who knew John McCain was such a free swinger?

 

Now that we are more than two months into the unofficial presidential election, it is now apparent that John McCain will swing outside of the zone when it comes to negative campaign attacks.

 

The leader of the straight talk express this week motioned to Paris Hilton and Brittany Spears when describing Obama as more of a celebrity than somebody capable of serving as Commander in Chief. After that leadoff attack, McCain accused Obama of playing the race card after the Junior Senator from Illinois noted that his mug and oversized ears don’t look like anything on Mt. Rushmore.

 

 McCain’s attempt to brush Obama off the plate may be his only winning strategy. On the issues, McCain is playing with more than a few arms short in bullpen when it comes to supporting anything most Americans care about. While gas is approaching five fucks a share and anthrax runs wild in U.S. government labs, McCain is trying to download the Paris Hilton sex tape to fortify his chops on pop culture.  

 

Sorry, Senator, but our country is in a deep crisis and we can ill afford to have anybody learn on the job. First off, the last time Brittany Spears carried any cultural relevance Dusty Baker wore Cubby blue while chewing on his toothpicks. If you’re going to play the celebrity card, why don’t you say Angelina Jolie or Scarlett Johanson to make your point?

A picture's worth a thousand votes.

A picture's worth a thousand votes.

 

Meanwhile on the northside, the Cubbies are again looking like the team to beat in the National League. The crushing four- game sweep of the Brewers put the Cubs outside of the margin of error when it comes to winning the Central or at least making the postseason.  

Like Obama in on his Middle East and European tour, the Cubs need to act and think liked the presumed leader of the free world to maximize their chance of going the distance. Learning how to govern over inevitable Cubby occurrences like Kerry Wood’s blister or laying a  donut up against the Pirates is the remaining step.   

Can't you just eat him up?

Can't you just eat him up?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: