While Wrigley Field received an Armageddon appetizer this week, Western Civilization moved one frame closer to doomsday as multiple national polls today show John McCain now catching up if not leading in the race for president.
If we must go to Hell in a bucket during this historic season, at least the upstart Hilton-Andrews campaign can help us enjoy the ride. Paris Hilton on August 5 announced that she would be entering into the presidential fray after being teased by a McCain for President TV ad. Hilton, sensing a rare opportunity to match wits with an intellectual equal, doubled down and announced her candidacy on funny or die.
As reported here for the first time at ObamaCubs08.com, multiple sources have confirmed that ESPN’s sideline seductress Erin Andrews has been tagged as Hilton’s running mate. Andrews, who turned heads in Milwaukee last week when she popped in a Cubs/Brewers game en route to a Victoria’s Secret photo shoot, will be expected to bring in the Deadspin demographic among other red hot states of arousal.
The world will also await her appearance in the vice presidential debate, where the usual veep-in-the-making sparring match could result in an all out mud wrestling competition. At the very least, Andrews will be the hottest third-party vice presidential candidate since Perot running mate Admiral Stockdale caused a nation to swoon back in the fall of 1992. We now who we are and why we are here – Do you?