Entering Homestretch, Reality Strikes Back

While it has yet to get late early, Obama and the Cubs enter the fall well-positioned to win their complete games.

 

Having pitched their way out of recent jams, both can now focus on the heart of the world order. As we approach the September 26 Presidential Debate at the University of Mississippi (or the proposed rescheduled debate at Miller Park) and the October 1 opener of the National League Divisional Series at The Friendly Confines, ObamaCubs.com serves up some advice.

 

Only Karlrovian Kryptonite and a colossally cruel curse stand in the way of victory.

Only Karlrovian Kryptonite and a colossally cruel curse stand in the way of victory.

The Best Defense is a Good Offense: The Obama candidacy could sprinkle in a few hit and runs on McCain. The meat of McCain’s economic line-up – Keating, Graham, Fiorina – can no longer reach first base in the current economic environment. Now is the time for Obama to pull one to right and allow free markets to drill those who got us into this mess before they steal all of our homes.

 

Don’t Snatch Defeat from the Jaws of Victory:  Call it the bizarro Ernie Banks. Avoid the “lets play two” debacle of the Cubs not at least making it to the World Series and the democrats not reclaiming the White House. There is enough distance between the Cubs and the rest of the National League that only a cursed past, present and future could deny them the votes on the field to reach the fall classic. For Obama, if he can’t defeat the republicans after eight years of war and financial disaster, than he is destined for a minor league post in the capital house in Springfield.

 

Have Fun: In addition to being a national and civic diversion during our time of economic crises, don’t forget that baseball is still a game and the purpose is to have fun out there. Cubs’ players shouldn’t worry about Tribune Co. paying them with food stamps after the company defaults later this year. Obama did OK growing up on food stamps. The future is now.

 

Fire Peanut Tillman: Obama should not allow McCain to one-up him when it comes to delivering unauthorized pink slips to those who have no direct culpability to the problems at hand. If you can’t fire Tillman for his egregious error against the Bucs on Sunday, mention in the debates that you would support capital punishment in the cases of murder, tax evasion, and committing an unnecessary unsportsmanlike conduct with the game on the line in overtime.

 

We will always love you Peanut, but one more bone-head play like Sunday and you shall be impeached from the Bears’ secondary.

We will always love you Peanut, but one more bone-head play like Sunday and you shall be impeached from the Bears’ secondary.

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